#i was listening to it while i was making it and it wasn't until i finished with the crab and took the photo that i was like
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onlymexsarah · 3 days ago
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Burning Flames I || Eris Vanserra
Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Archeron!reader Summary: Since you became High Fae there were only two things that scared you: your deadly power and your attraction toward the male you should hate most after Tamlin, Eris Vanserra. Warnings: less Eris than what you might expect, but with the next episode you'll forgive me; and english is not my first language :)
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The first time Eris saw you was at the High Lords meeting. As soon as he had entered the room something flickered in Eris' chest, something warm that made his eyes looking around, a bored look on his calculated face, as he studied where the source of that flicker was. Then, his eyes laid on you, and oh gods if he had to call all his five centuries of practise to keep his breath from catching.
Before his eyes was the most beautiful female he had ever seen. He felt an unknown urge to know your name, your story, what had brought you there. Your eyes were on his father, studying him as the Vanserras had entered the room.
Eris took a second to realize that you were seated between the High Lady of the Night Court and another bautiful female. All three of you looking oddly similar to one another, and it was that moment that he realized who you were. You and the female at your left were two of the three High Lady's sisters, turned High Fae by Hybhern. Twins, he realized as he looked at the two of you. So close you looked like fire and ice. Your features were warm, even the colors of your hair, skin and eyes were a warm contrast to Nesta's cold features, all sharp and icy.
Your eyes scanned all his brothers until they fell on him, and Eris kept a cold face as you studied him, his posture, how his brothers obeyed to him.
Your eyes flickered quickly to Mor, then on him again and Eris could tell the exact moment that you connected who he was, because you grimaced and turned your face in a cold and dismissal expression. Of course the bastards would spread what happened with Mor; he thought with bitter humor. He gave you a lazy, mocking grin before turning his attention on Thesan, who now was talking to welcome everyone.
It was when Tamlin appeared that he felt that warm flicker inside him again, and when he curiously looked at you what he saw pietrified him. It wasn't cold that shimmered in your eyes. There were pure, burning flames in them.
Two punds of raging, wild, unforgiving fire were now locked on the High Lord of the Spring Court, and for a moment Eris was thankful that you have just watched him with dismissal distain, because what you were giving Tamlin was a promise of slow, painful death.
“It was so easy for you to call me a monster, despite all I did for you, for your family.” A sneer from Tamlin toward you and your twin. “Yet you witnessed all that he did Under the Mountain, and still spread your legs for him. Fitting, I suppose. He whored for Amarantha for decades. Why shouldn’t you be his whore in return?”
Eris saw your hands gripping the arms of the chair, your knuckles white from the strenght. You were going to kill him, he was sure of that. You were going to kill Tamlin someday.
***
You could feel your power, rising in your body, begging to be lashed out.
As you watched Tamlin's smug smirk a lovely imagine formed in your mind. Tamlin's body burning from the inside out, his blood boiling with your flames, his flesh coming down slowly and painfully while he begged to stop. Yes, more you looked at him and more that imagine gave you comfort.
He was the one who had sold you and your sisters to Hybern. He was the one who locked Feyre inside his house, who forbade her from doing anything she wanted. He was the one who responsible for your sisters' traumas, and you were going to make him pay.
You wondered if you were imagining his sweat on his forehead, his hand coming to adjust his shirt's collar every now and then, his breath heavier with every minute. It was if for once your power had listened to you and was now doing what you wanted.
Careful, for how much I'd like to see his blood boiling up it wouldn't win you many alliances to defend the humans. Rhysand's velvet voice appeared in your head, making you blink few times before lettiing go the arms of your chair and calming your breath.
Sorry. You answered him, not feeling ashamed at all. Tamlin was targetting Rhysand too, the male who saved you and gave you a place to call home, promising you that he would keep your sisters safe.
“You’re insane,” Feyre breathed to Tamlin as Varian bared his teeth. “Do you hear what you’re saying?” Your sister pointed toward you and Nesta. “Hybern turned my sisters into Fae, after your bitch of a priestess sold them out!”
“Perhaps Ianthe’s mind was already in Rhysand’s thrall. And what a tragedy to remain young and beautiful. You’re a good actress, I’m sure the trait runs in the family.” said Tamlin with a scoff.
"It seems like you love to insinuate what an Ancheron girl want in her life and what she doesn't." You said slowly, your voice burning with fire as you locked your eyes with his. "I hope the trait doesn't ruin in your court. If you had any left after you let Hybern in their houses."
Tamlin snarled at you, and you only lift your chin higher not feeling scared or intimidated even for a moment. Many things had changed since he had come and wrecked your cottage, and now he was the one who had to be afraid.
"You'll find out, Tamlin..." said Rhysand with a bored voice. "That nothing good come out from telling an Archeron what to do. But you should already know that."
You could feel the flames inside you ready to be leashed out, but you kept them at bay, knowing that all it needed was for Tamlin to make a move toward you or your sisters and you would let them out. It wouldn't matter if you burned too, you would make sure to incinerate Tamlin.
“Pity you didn’t bring the other sister. I hear our little brother’s mate is quite the beauty.” snorted the male you had recognized as Eris. Your eyes snapped to met his and you found him already looking at you.
As soon as he had walked inside the room your brain had gone silent for a moment. He was, with your deepest annoyance, the most beautiful male you had ever seen, and that thought alone was enough to make you ashamed. You had needed few seconds to recognize who he was, and as soon as you put the name on his face you had grimaced at the thought of have called him beautiful in your mind.
You narrowed your eyes, your hands hitching from the unleashed power you were keeping inside your body. If they did as much as to hurt Elain you would incinerate all of the red haired family in front of you.
Eris seemed to understand your look, because he only smirked amused at you before Mor's voice caught his attention. “You still certainly like to hear yourself talk, Eris. Good to know some things don’t change over the centuries.”
Eris’s mouth curled into a smile at the words, the careful game of pretending that they had not seen each other in years. “Good to know that after five hundred years, you still dress like a slut.”
You had barely widened your eyes, disgusted by his words, as a flash of blue light passed in front of your eyes. A moment Eris was seated, the next he was on the ground, Azriel over him.
You hid a smirk behind your hand as you watched Azriel's hands around Eris' throat, and the heir of Autumn running out of air. It didn't matter if you had a secret alliance with him, he had no problem into proving how horrible he was.
When the alliance had been forged the Inner Circle had proceeded to tell you and Nesta what kind of person Eris was. How he had left Mor die because she had refused to marry him. How he had hunted your sister and Lucien when they were escaping the Spring Court.
So, the show that was now in front of your eyes made you amused for the first time since you had been taken from home. Your sister, Feyre, stopped Azriel and invited him to sit beside her, making all of your shift of one chair.
He sat at your right, and after a careful speech from Feyre, Eris apologized with Mor. It was curious that the Lady of the Autumn Court, Eris' mother, watched him with an approval look as he apologized. Maybe not everyone in the Vanserra family was horrible.
Around you everything was going down. Thesand had proposed an antidote for the faebane and while the Night Court was willing to try it, Beron threw free insults to your sister and Rhysand.
Thesan asked, “And you believe the human armies there will bow to Hybern?”
“Its queens sold us out,” Nesta said. She lifted her chin, poised as any emissary. “For the gift of immortality, the human queens will allow Hybern in to sweep away any resistance. They might very well hand over control of their armies to him.” Nesta looked to you, to Feyre, to Rhys. “Where do the humans on our island go? We cannot evacuate them to the continent, and with the wall intact … Many might rather risk waiting than cross over the wall anyway.”
“The fate of the humans below the wall,” Beron cut in, “is none of our concern. Especially in a spit of land with no queen, no army.”
"There are people." You said angryly while the fire run hotter inside your body. All you could see was Beron's disgusting face and his arrogance. "There are families. A moment ago you were all horrified about Amarantha killing the Winter Court's children, but now since they are humans its different?" You asked looking to every High Lords in the eyes, watching them shocked and uncredoulous. "Humans children are less than yours?" Your eyes locked with Kallias, the High Lord of the Winter Court.
"Careful with your accusation." said Kallias with a low voice.
"Careful with your next actions." You said back, letting him see the fire in your eyes, calling back your emissary voice. "How many parents had died trying to protect their kids from Amarantha?"
It was Viviane who answered, her hand closed thighly around her mate's. "All of them."
You rose your chin high, watching her right in the eyes. "Every human will fight againsgt Hybern. With or without your help, they will fight for their children, their families. And they will die too, without your help, hoping for a better future."
“So go waste your own soldiers defending them,” Beron said. “I will not send my own forces to protect chattel.”
Your eyes snapped back on him. “You’re a coward,” Feyre breathed to the High Lord of Autumn. Even Rhys tensed.
At some point Feyre hit Beron with her power, breaking his shield and trapping him in a bubble of water. Your eyebrows rose, surprised to see your sister's full powers.
Let us out, your flames begged. We will end him.
No. You couldn't let them out. Your power felt too descructive to be leasshed in a room full of people. It was better burning from the inside out rather than burning everyone you cared for.
Your sister seemed to calm down after a while, letting Beron breath again with your displeasure. How could someone so horrible be still alive after centuries? Why no one had never killed him?
The display of Feyre's power got the High Lords tensed up. She had showed them she had all their powers and not all of them were too happy.
“The power belongs to us. I think it is,” Beron seethed making you close your hands on your laps in tight fits. if he did as much as take a step toward your sister he would find that your fire was hotter and more dangerous than his.
You could feel them, the flames, starting to come out from your hands. Beron would let the humans die for his own benefits, he will never see reason.
But it was when your sister apologized to the Lady of the Autumn Court and Beron called her human filth that everythink around you exploded.
You felt your power lashing out, and as much killing Beron would only bring you happiness, there was one thing you wanted more. and it was for him to be afraid of you. So when your fire lashed out you stood up and directed it to the chair on which Beron was seated, making him fall on a pile of burning wood.
He yelled in pain. Your fire was circling him like snakes ready to strike, and it felt so good to let it out finally. The room fell quiet, everyone was looking at you but your eyes were fixed on the High Lord of the Autumn Court who now looked at you with a promise of death in his eyes.
"We are here to discuss an imminet war against Hybern." I said deadly serious while every inch of you fought to control the flames that now were out and extremely close to the Vanserra's other memeber. "But talk to my sister like that again, and next time I won't be aiming at the chair."
Beron shot to his feet, his hand still tring to make the little flames on his clothes stop, and declared to no one in particular, “This meeting is over. I hope Hybern butchers you all.”
"This meeting is not over." said Nesta raising on her feet.
She stood tall, a pillar of steel. “You are all there is,” she said to Beron, to all of them. “You are all that there is between Hybern and the end of everything that is good and decent.” She settled her stare on Beron, unflinching and fierce. “You fought against Hybern in the last war. Why do you refuse to do so now?”
Your eyes studied all the Vanserra sons, marking how Eris gestured for his brothers to sit and how his eyes met yours again. You expected to find challenge, rage for what you did to his father, but instead something fickered in his eyes. Something like...pride?
Your confusion must have shown on your face because his expression become amused, and you quickly looked away from him. You didn't want for the heir of Autumn to study you, to think you cared what he thought of you.
“You may hate us. I don’t care if you do. But I do care if you let innocents suffer and die. At least stand for them. Your people. For Hybern will make an example of them. Of all of us.” said Nesta at your side.
“And you know this how?” Beron sneered.
"We went into the Cauldron." You said, pushing away the horrible memories that came back. “It showed us his heart. He will bring down the wall, and butcher those on either side of it.”
Nesta looked to Kallias and Viviane. “I am sorry for the loss of those children. The loss of one is abhorrent.” She shook her head. “But beneath the wall, I witnessed children—entire families—starve to death.” She jerked her chin at you and Feyra. “Were it not for my sisters… I would be among them.”
She was right. You and Nesta might have been twins, but you were born few days before her and that made you the oldest, and as the oldest you had taken upon yourself to provide for your family when the money had ended.
"We are not asking you to protect them." You said firmly, taking Nesta's hand in yours while you watched every High Lord in the eyes. "We are asking you to give them a chance to survive. To fight together for your lands. They have spent centuries starving and dying while you were here with every comfort. They hate you? Yes. They will ask for your help? No. That's why we are here, because without you there will be no human left after this war."
Thesan cleared his throat. “While a noble sentiment, the details of the Treaty did not demand we provide for our human neighbors. They were to be left alone. So we obeyed.”
"Because they are scared of you." You said. "Because most of your kind have enslaved them for centuries. And they are afraid that if they let you close it will happen again. Show them they are wrong. Show them your strenght doesn't have only evil ends, but it can help to build a future where no children, human or Fae, will have to worry ever again."
"You have been entrusted with protecting this land.” Nesta scanned the faces around her. “How can you not fight for it?”
She looked to Beron and his family as she finished. Only the Lady and Eris seemed to be considering, impressed, even, by your and Nesta's speech. You met Eris' eyes again, and you looked at him determinated. He needed to convince his father to fight together, because otherwise the human lands would be reduce to ash.
You thought you had imagined it as he gave you a subt nod, masking it with his hand under his chin. What was it? A promise? Did he understand the gravity of the situantion and actually cared? Or was it only to ensure his alliance with the Night Court?
Beron only said, “I shall consider it.” A look at his family, and they vanished.
Eris stood behind just for few seconds, his eyes scanning all of us, his expression unreadable. His eyes fell on the pool in front of us, then on you and then on the pile of ashes beside him where his father had been seated. Something sparkled in his eyes as if he was understanding something, then with one last curious look toward you he vanished too.
You let out a breath you hadn't realize you were holding, and you seated on your chair again, feeling the tiredness that the leash of power left inside you. Your eyes fell on the pool, and, even if impossible, your blood froze.
There was no water left inside the pool.
That's what Eris had been looking. That's how powerful your flames had been. They had made the magic water evaporate into nothing. You looked over Thesan apogetically, but he just waved a hand as if to dismiss it while water appeared again.
At least now they know who is fighting with the humans. Maybe it was what they needed to convince themself, Rhys' voice appeared in your head with a calming tone, as if he had sensed your terror at what you have done.
What if I hurt someone of our army? You asked panicked in your head, trying to keep a neutral face while your sister was speaking to the High Lords.
I'll make sure it won't happen. Rhysand said firmly and yet kindly. I promise you.
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turbolezgooo · 3 days ago
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Why ya'll hate on Cait and call her a dictator?
Well-written characters often have a story deeper than what you explicitly see them do or hear them say. Just because everything is set in a fantasy world, doesn't mean that characters are not affected by tragic events and the human condition.
First of all, Cait wasn't the one who made a police state. Ambessa and the council did that. Ambessa orchestrated the whole thing. Cait went along with it because she was turned around by grief. That shit messes with your judgment, but she was still trying to do what she and Vi agreed on. To focus on the real problem and prevent hurting innocent people.
Cait tried to control an unraveling situation AND literal warlord WHILE being inexperienced in how to deal with it, having a big ol' lesbian break up, AND dying inside.
You could see that when Cait argued to Ambessa that there are innocent people and there MUST be justifiable cause to arrest anyone. In Cait and Ambessa's interactions it's implied that Cait was getting in the way of Ambessa's agenda off-screen. She tried to keep something worse from happening because she does acknowledge the historical and current oppression of Zaunites.
This mirrors the way she offered Vi the badge to give her a voice in what happens to her sister if the enforcers caught her. The enforcers coming after Jinx was going to happen regardless of Cait. She took control by volunteering and taking precautions. See- While they did use gas, Vi would never agree to something that would permanently hurt the people of Zaun. The tactic gave them fewer chances of having to physically fight Zaunites who were just trying to defend themselves. Believe it or not, it was a controlled operation until grief got the better of Cait and things looked worse than it actually was.
The way that Cait deeply believes in equality in spite of a personal vendetta is why Ambessa sent Maddie to try and control her by 'filling' her hole (no pun intended). When Maddie attempted to have Cait stop the police state situation and withdraw, she did focus on Jinx at first but the second part of not wanting to make things worse was something she had a lot more to say about before Maddie interrupted. And Cait was right. What would have happened if she hadn't taken the role and played along? A puppet councillor or Ambessa herself would have been the figure head and do so much worse. Those people don't have the same perspective and understanding as Cait.
When Cait and Vi argue about listening to a war pig oink poison in her ear, she yells "I know!" as she throws a piece of war ship used in strategizing. You can tell her role was a strategic choice to have some control over the events that unfolded. That's why Vi didn't villinize her. Vi understood that Cait never really accepted anything Ambessa said. That's why she helped Vi at the commune. Cait was a double agent taking shit from all sides to stop worse things from happening.
She had grief and really crap options, but she always chose the lesser of the evils to try and stay true to who she really was. She even resigns in her argument with Vi, that she didn't put Jinx, her own mother's killer, in jail or punish her in any way. It's another example of her faltering in decision-making when overwhelming or unexpected things happen and it also tells us what she is. She's human. She doesn't make excuses for taking on an objectively bad role and making mistakes. When she said "We can't erase our mistakes.", she's also talking about herself. She takes responsibility and tries to do good. In the end, all she wanted was closure for her grief by having Jinx accept responsibility NOT by killing or abusing her or innocent Zaunites for that matter.
Imo there's a lot in Arcane that shows Cait as a flawed but inherently good person, and Vi absolutely knows it. They see each other warts and all. If you think CaitVi's lex scene was poorly written read this: https://www.tumblr.com/turbolezgooo/768190482340773888/bro-this-outrage-about-caitvi-relationship-in-s2?source=share
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alicewrotethis · 3 days ago
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𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩. 𝟑﹒
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ㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒synopsis!! tsukishima comes to a realization ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚౨ cw!! timeskip k. tsukishima x chubby!fem!reader, angst (i dont write angst much i hope i did good) ﹒ ◠ note!!  playlist i listened to while making this !  i still cant reply to comments, ALSO LAST PART i hope you liked the ending, but if u didnt let me know if u want more or just another tsuki series౨ wc!! 2.2k part 2 not proofread
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Opening your eyes the sun shone on your eyes, memories of the night before instantly flooding your mind making a blush form on your cheeks.
Leaning up and resting on your elbows you smiled, the memories weren't a dream, and you weren't being delusional. Your eyes scanned the room, remembering how the stars looked while Tsukishima was on top of you. You shook your head, metaphorically swatting the thoughts away.
Facing to the right you noticed the bed was perfectly put together, what time was it?
Searching for your phone, and some clothes, you saw there was a small pile on the nightstand to your right. On top of the pile was your phone, and below it was a pair of volleyball shorts and his hoodie.
Grabbing your phone first the screen lit up, he had charged it for you. A smile appeared while you read the time, it was six. Tsukishima didn't have to leave until seven, you knew that because you leave at the same time.
Tsukishima would never tell you but he is supposed to leave at six thirty, but to talk to you he waits the extra thirty minutes and chooses to sprint to practice.
Throwing on the clothes you made your way to the living room finding Tsukishima sitting on his couch in silence, seemingly lost in a deep thought with a pensive look on his face.
"Hey, Tsuki," You greeted softly, not wanting to frighten him.
He swiftly directed his attention to you, he didn't answer for a moment as he gathered his thoughts and words. The silence brought a nervous look to your expression.
"Listen," He paused, "About last night,"
"Yeah?" You felt your heartbeat quicken.
"It was a mistake," He stood up now, walking over to you with ease.
You felt your heart drop into your stomach. You weren't quite sure how to feel in the moment, or well, you couldn't decide how to feel with so many emotions mixing in your head. You were filled with anger, sadness, and confusion. If barfing was an emotion, you'd feel that as well. Your mind was so clouded with emotions you couldn't form a reply, and if it wasn't what were you even meant to say to him? Just agree with him? Agree that it was a mistake and you'd go back to your normal routine together? It was something you'd never be able to do.
"We shouldn't have done it," He added.
You let out a scoff, staring up at him with your tear-filled eyes, "I cannot believe you, Tsukishima," You felt your tears drip down your cheeks and onto the floor.
"I dont want to lose you," Tsukishima felt tears threaten his eyes as he stared at your form. It was true, he didn't want to lose you, and being more than your friend meant there was a possibility of that happening. He was scared of how things would change.
"Lose me?" You sobbed out, "Youre losing me now,"
You turned on your heel towards the door, but before you could even get a step in Tsukishima wrapped his hand around your wrist.
You turned your head to him expectantly.
Tsukishima wanted so badly to tell you to stay, to tell you he didn't want this, but nothing came out, no matter how hard he tried to verbalize his thoughts he just couldn't, so instead he stared into your eyes with a pleading look, hoping and praying you understood what he meant.
You pulled your wrist away, "Dont contact me anymore, Tsukishima,"
He watched as you turned around, he watched as you slammed the door, and he watched the time pass as he stood planted in the same spot for thirty minutes. He wanted to cry, he wanted to sob, he didn't remember the last time he felt like this, if ever. Tsukishima in no way was an emotional person, well he wasn't until you came into his life. He thought back to his life before you, how every day was the same, how most of his days were filled with boredom or anger.
He missed you and you had only been gone for thirty minutes. But he decided it was simply for the best, you deserved someone who could properly speak their emotions, someone who isn't so passive-aggressive, someone who isn't him.
Your heart ached and yearned, you weren't sure how you could cry so much about someone who you had only just seen thirty minutes ago, someone who was probably fine without you, who was probably going about his day like his words held no meaning to them. You let him see all of you, feel all of you. The ghost of his hands only made you sob harder into your pillow, the way he roamed you as if you were the only person he'd ever laid eyes on. Were any of his touches real, did the words he said hold genuine meaning? So many thoughts ran through your head.
You knew you'd be late to work at this rate so you decided to call off work. You noticed you were still in his clothes, god, it was like he was haunting you.
Tsukishima didn't want to stay in his apartment any longer, everywhere he looked there you were. Memories of you on the floor studying, watching movies on his couch, baking in his kitchen, and now ghosts of you in his bed. He settled on heading to practice to hopefully take his mind off of you.
It was a decision he had really regretted.
You never left his mind, so much so it was affecting the way he played.
"What is the matter with you, Tsuki?" Kogane shouted after Tsukishima didn't even jump to block the ball. The nickname reminds him instantly of you.
"Its just practice," Tsukishima replied in a calm tone while walking to the benches for a sip of water.
"But you totally could've blocked that!" Kogane followed him.
Kogane considered Tsukishima a close friend, but Tsukishima did not, and he thought he always made that clear, but every day Kogane proved him wrong.
Tsukishima just sighed in response, he knew Kogane was right, Kyotani was always easy to read in two-on-twos, but how could he focus when all that he could think of was the sight of you crying? He wasn't sure how hed ever be able to forgive himself, let alone forget you.
"Is it about that girl that brings your lunches?" Kogane asked after taking a big gulp of water and almost choking on it, much to Tsukishimas's misfortune.
"It's none of your business," Tsukishima tried to maintain his usual scowl.
"Oh, it so is! Tell your dear friend about it," Kogane said, waiting expectantly.
"And why would I do that?"
"Because when she was coming around here you actually smiled a few times," Kogane explained, mimicking Tsukishima's angry face.
Koganes words didn't help Tsukishima in the slightest. He missed you even more so now, he missed how happy you'd make him, though he had a weird way of showing it.
"It's too late," Tsukishima said, he couldn't believe he was actually saying this to Kogane.
"It's never too late, Tsuki,"
Tsukishima didn't believe him, Kogane wasn't there, and he didn't see the look you gave him when you told him to not contact you again.
Despite everything, Kogane's words stuck with Tsukishima, and they rang in his head annoyingly, they rang on his way to class, and on the way back to his apartment, they especially rang when he passed the bakery you worked at. So there he stood, in the cold, outside the door. He contemplated walking in, what would he even say? Were you even at work? What if you already moved away?
Before he could change his mind Tsukishima opened the door, the warm air welcoming him in, as well as the smell of freshly baked bread and cakes.
"Welcome!" A girl called from the desk.
As Tsuki walked over to her he examined the walls and the pictures that hung on them, some were of customers, and cakes, but there was one of you standing next to a cake about as tall as you. You looked beautiful with your smile, the smile that used to be towards him. How he missed you.
Once Tsukishima asked if you were here the girl gave him a strange look, "Why? Whats it to you?" She spoke, attitude lacing her voice.
Tsukishima was taken aback by her aggressive tone, "I'm a friend," Though friend wouldn't be the best choice of wording.
"Are you Tsukishima?"
He raised a brow, "Yes?" How would she have already known his name?
"Oh! She talks about you like all the time, she let a cake burn one time to text you back!" She said with a smile.
Tsukishima felt his heart pang at the new information, here you were burning cakes to text him back and he shattered your heart like it was nothing, how could he have allowed himself to do such a thing? Losing you because he couldn't properly communicate his feelings because he was scared of something unknown.
Tsukishima liked to consider himself a smart person, but at this moment, here in this bakery, he felt like a complete and utter fool.
He found himself standing outside your door, hands by his sides. What was he even doing? You made it painfully obvious you wanted nothing to do with him.
"Tsuki?" Your voice called from down the hall, Tsukishima swiftly turned his head to meet your gaze. You were holding a brown grocery bag, your eyes were puffy and your hair was a mess, but he saw past that, to him you still looked as beautiful as you did that night.
Tsukishima didn't know what to say, everything he was previously thinking faded within a flash, his words once again failing him.
You stared at Tsukishima, he looked distraught, the sight of him was almost enough to make tears form in your eyes.
You walked closer to your door as he turned to completely face you, he prepared for you to yell at him, tell him you hate him, anything. He wasn't prepared for you to walk right by him and straight into your apartment.
Tsukishima sighed and entered his own, if he couldn't use words, he'd use something he knew you loved.
Baking.
Heading to his kitchen he took out all the ingredients he'd need to make strawberry shortcake. Looking at the bottle of vanilla you helped him pick out he smiled, remembering the look on your face while you were explaining the differences, the glimmer in your eye.
Tsukishima wasn't the best at baking, which was one of the reasons he liked having you over so much, you'd always bake his favorite dish for him, you were always doing things for him and he didn't even realize what he had.
Placing the last strawberry on the whipped cream he stepped back to get a full view of it. It was... strawberry shortcake for sure from certain angles. He didn't have enough vanilla to make another one since you'd always use his, so this... creation... would have to do.
Carefully walking to your door he knocked, and after a few moments you appeared, teary-eyed.
You rolled your eyes at Tsukishima, you didn't want to, but you couldn't help it. He broke your heart, and even after he did you still thought of him, you should be angry, and furious, you should hate him, and you hate that you don't. You hate that you still want him, you hate that he's still the person you think of most.
"What-"
Tsukishima cut you off by showing you the shortcake.
Your expression turned to confusion as you examined the creation on the plate before you.
"I didn't know that color was possible..." You muttered, trying to hide your amusement.
"I made it for you, I didn't have any more vanilla left so I couldn't make another one."
"Its gonna take more than that for me to forgive you," You flatly stated despite everything in you wanting to forgive him, to pull him into a hug, to hear his laugh.
"I'm sorry," He blurted out, finally finding the words to say to you, "I was scared,"
"Scared of what?"
"Losing you,"
You weren't sure what to say to him, you weren't even sure what to think at that moment. He lost you because he was scared of losing you? None of it made any sense to you.
"I meant what I said," He paused, "I can't stay away from you,"
And for the first time in a while, you managed to crack a smile, and so did Tsukishima.
You took the plate from his hands, "Youre on thin ice, Tsukishima Kei,"
Tsukishima felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, he finally had you back, albeit he had a bit more work to do but he was more than ready for that if it meant having you in his life again. You, the one who made mornings tolerable, the one who made him realize there were more emotions than anger and boredom.
"Dont be a stranger, Tsuki," You said with a soft smile, to which he happily reciprocated.
"I dont think there's a world in which I would be,"
Tsukishima hated a lot of things.
He hated mornings, he hated polyester, he hated loud neighbors, overly enthusiastic people, and most of all, making friends with his neighbors.
But when you were around, he learned to tolerate things just a bit more.
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mlist. rules. tags.
© 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ please don't copy, translate, or post any of my work without my permission !
tag: @ilovemymomscooking
part 1
part 2
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ohithankyou · 2 days ago
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decided to watch all of buck’s breakups last night and here are (part) of the conversations/how each of the breakups played out to compare and contrast if you so desire. i didn’t include the entire conversations because it would be too long and i think the parts i included capture the core of the breakups well enough.
note: information in square brackets is just some context i included since i didn't add the full conversations
buck and abby, breakup, 1x10:
[after abby’s mom passes and she books a ticket to ireland in an effort to find herself and what she wants]
abby: “. . .i care about you so much. you’re amazing. and these last few months, i think you've gotten me, at least halfway, to the person i want to be. but I've got to do this [go to ireland/travel] so that i know i have something to give.”
buck: “i’m excited for you. almost as much as i am, um, sad for me. i’m gonna miss you.”
abby: “i’m gonna miss you, too.”
[when buck is dropping her to the airport]
abby: "you're not gonna come in with me?"
buck: "i learned a while ago, you never go beyond the glass doors."
abby: "i must be crazy to be leaving you behind."
buck: "you're not leaving anything behind. you're moving toward something. and i'm gonna be right here when you come back, okay? go on. you got this, okay?"
abby: "take care of yourself, okay?"
buck: "you, too, abby."
buck and abby, ‘closure’, 3x18:
[after abby and buck meet for the first time since 1x10 when she and her finance are in a train derailment and buck + the 118 save his life]
abby: “. . .i just had no sense of self. i had to leave everything that i knew so that i could remember who i actually am.”
buck: “and you did, right? i mean, you did remember, but you still didn't come home.”
abby: “yeah, i know. i think i was afraid that if i came back, i would become that person again. because i missed you. i wanted to see you. but i didn't trust myself.”
buck: “because being here, being with me, you might lose yourself again?”
abby: “yeah.”
buck: “i’m glad to see you happy, abby. you deserve it.”
buck and ali, 2x18:
[after buck’s leg gets crushed under the fire truck and it hits ali what it means to be with a firefighter]
ali: “. . .look, it’s not like i didn't know you were in a dangerous line of work when i met you, you know, ten stories up of a collapsing high rise.”
buck: “exactly.”
ali: “that was one day. one day of my life, evan. it’s every day for you. i’m just starting to really understand what that means.”
buck: “wait, so-so you want me to quit my job, that's what you're asking me to do?”
ali: “no, i would never, i would never ask you to do that. listen. i know it's who you are. i’m just not sure. if it's…”
buck: “…who you are.”
ali: “hey. i don't know yet. okay?”
buck and taylor, 5x18:
[after taylor publishes the story about jonah buck had asked her not]
taylor: “. . .i’m sorry you're still upset about the story.”
buck: “you’re not sorry for what you did, though.”
taylor: “the story was gonna come out regardless. if i hadn't have broken it, someone else would have.”
buck: “you couldn't have called me first? no. you-you just, you figured i’d be fine. i’d get over it.”
taylor: “buck, i wasn't trying to hurt you or anyone else. i was just trying to get the truth out there. a truth the public has every right to know.”
buck: “this is literally our first argument all over again.”
taylor: “which is why we shouldn't be having it. you knew who i was when we started dating.”
buck: “i guess i thought i could learn to live with it.”
taylor: “i don't want to be something you have to learn to live with.”
buck: “and i don't want to keep on making the same mistakes. i need things to be different, taylor.”
taylor: “okay. i’m willing to try that. clean slate.”
buck: “yeah. just not together.”
buck and tommy, 8x06:
[after bucks tells tommy that he also dated abby]
buck: ". . .my relationship with abby was—it was the most transformative of my life. until now. look, i-i think one of the reasons that i am so comfortable with you is-is 'cause you're so comfortable with you."
tommy: "i wasn't always that way."
buck: "i know, i-i do. and honestly, it just makes me admire you more."
buck: "i want you to move in with me. i want you to move in with me. i-'m ready to take the next step. and i'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you. all I'm saying is, why be apart when we can be together?"
tommy: "evan, that is so sweet but I can't move in with you."
buck: "and why not?"
tommy: "because, i know how this ends."
buck: "uh, wh-what's that supposed to mean?"
tommy: "look, evan. you're an incredible guy. big-hearted. hot as hell. funny. impulsive. but what you're feeling right now is... is new. and it's exciting, and it feels like forever. but you're still figuring yourself out. and that's good."
buck: "what are you saying?"
tommy: "i'm saying no matter how bad i wanted to be, i'm not your last. i'm your first."
buck: "well, hey, they-they can be the same thing."
tommy: "but they usually aren't. if i were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it but you'd end up breaking my heart. and i, i don't think that i could deal with that."
tommy: "i should go."
buck: "wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, um... wait, d-did you just break up with me?"
tommy: "yeah. i guess i did. believe me, i didn't see it coming, either. should've known that parking spot was too good to be true. i'll see you around, buck."
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choerrysjubiles · 2 days ago
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All Superimposed
Pairing: Sungchan x fem!reader
Warning: smut! reader is ovulating, table sex, cunnilingus, fingering, backshots, protected sex, multiple orgasms, cum eating, sungchan utilizing chairs
wc: 2.3k
a/n: beginning and ending feels rushed because i do not care about plot <3 the plot is i want sungchan's dick in me <3<3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Days off with y/n were Sungchan's favorite. They could stay in and relax together, watching shows and spend their day cuddling. They could go out on an impromptu date, visiting a museum or diner before taking a plethora of candids of each other. Meet up with friends. He couldn't spend enough time with her.
Tired muscles relaxing in the sheets of his bed, Sungchan felt his phone vibrate, a text from one of their mutual friends. It was something about planning a surprise birthday party.
Calling out to y/n, he got up to dress and make their way out.
The couple met up with their friend at a cafe. Their small group catching up on their week affairs, chatting, laughing, ordering drinks and snacks before getting to business.
This was fine and normal, Sungchan sitting, arm entwined with y/n's as they listened to some party pitch. But Sungchan slowly became distracted as he felt y/n's hands move around.
From this morning to now, the moments he's relaxed with y/n she's had some hand on him. Which is fine, his love language was physical touch. But something about the way she rubbed his forearm and twisted the joints on his hand. He felt a suspicion but couldn't pin it down.
Even when they drove, his hand often landed on her thigh as he drove but she usually left it alone. Today she was just as touchy as their morning, as right now.
As they began discussing what decor to bring and what games to play, Sungchan felt her free hands travel up to his bicep. Giving light squeezes to his muscle. He gave her a look over before forcing his attention back to his friends.
Later on Sungchan noticed she'd stare a little longer at him than normal. He could swear he saw her pupils blow out, her eyes undressing him even from her peripheral.
After everyone left, they drove around window shopping for presents. Hand in hand, they walked around stores. Looking at anything they could gift. Sungchan usually intertwined their fingers together but this time she was feeling and almost investigating his hand. Her small fingers reaching over to brush his finger pads or rubbing the joints.
Sungchan wrote it off, thinking it's just because they haven't had many days together in a while.
Arriving home, Sungchan still wondered what was up with y/n. She wasn't usually like this when they went out, maybe on a solo date but never so publicly.
She was changing into comfortable house clothes as Sungchan stood in their kitchen investigating what was up with her. Pondering when the last time she was like this until it dawned on him.
Just last month she acted similar, maybe a little less bold but horny regardless. A week before her period y/n was very touchy and all over him. Kissing him, nightly asking for him to touch her and make her cum. Even throughout the day, she'd beg for some kind of touch from Sungchan.
Hearing her walk out, Sungchan followed her. She sat at their dining table, laptop looking something up. Sungchan sat beside her, watching her actions, her movements.
Leaning his head onto her shoulder, he wrapped his arm around her waist.
"How are you feeling, mama's?"
Y/n bursted out laughing, "Mama's?"
He laughed before continuing, "I noticed you were acting a little different earlier today, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." She replied, smiling.
Sungchan hummed in response. He's not buying it but whatever. He stays sat beside her, scrolling on his phone to pass time, occasionally looking over at y/n.
Hearing a soft huff, Sungchan turns his attention to his girlfriend. Brows slightly furrowed, as she ghosts over the keys on her laptop.
"Are you alright?"
Taking a deep breath she caves, "I think I'm ovulating."
Knew it.
Sungchan felt his smirk grow more, leaning over to rub her hip and waist.
"Would you like to have sex?" He had a boyish smile splayed across his face, feeling the confidence of knowing exactly what was wrong with her. Being right felt so good.
"Can we?"
He leaves a wet kiss on her cheek.
"Of course." He said before closing her laptop and giving her a proper kiss.
Turning, y/n held onto his shoulders as he scooped her up from her rear before sitting y/n onto their table. Spreading her legs to stand flushed against her. Leaning down, he trails wet kisses down to her neck and collarbones before removing her shirt.
"Sungchan."
"I'm right here, baby."
He unclasped her bra before licking and massaging her breasts. Feeling how warm and soft they were. He wondered if they felt this soft last time they had sex or if her ovulation changed them.
Teasingly sucking and pinching her nipples, Sungchan then traveled lower across y/n's stomach and stopped at her waistband. Looking up at her, he moved his right hand to feel how hot her core was. An almost pulsing warmth coming from her pants.
Slowly he popped the button of her pants open and slowly slid the zipper down. Teasing her as much as possible. Her whines grew louder as he slid the pants down her hips and pulled then off of her legs.
He grabbed onto a chair to get a good seat for his meal.
Seeing her panties, he could see a clear wet spot from her clit to her opening. Leaning in to get a deep breath of her scent, Sungchan began licking and teasing y/n.
"Chanie." She moaned, falling back onto the table.
When he grew impatient he grabbed at the top and ripped the lacey panties in half. Y/n gasped at the sudden cool air.
Sungchan dove into her core with a flat tongue before prodding at her clit with a stiff tongue. Her moans made his go crazy, trying to push his tongue as far into her opening as it could reach before dragging it up to her clit.
He continued his actions, feeling her hands grab at his scalp. A decent grip holding onto his hair as she tried holding Sungchan deeper her pelvis. Her moans grew louder and louder until Sungchan felt a flood of sweet cum drip onto his tongue.
Cries of overstimulation didn't stop Sungchan from slurping up the slick dripping from his beloved girlfriend.
When he detached he let her get a breather, deciding to take his shirt off to wipe his mouth.
Rubbing her thigh, "How are you?" He asked, adoration and lust clouding his voice.
"Can you finger me?"
"You want more?"
"Please."
With a wide smile, Sungchan scooted closer and stretched his right hand before inserting two fingers into her core. Warm and slippery from her orgasm, Sungchan easily slides in and out of her. His left arm laying along her thigh and hip to rub light circles onto her clit.
His fingers were long and filled her up. Moans and gasps filled the air as Sungchan sped up before slowing down, teasing and feeling as much of her walls as he could.
Her hips begin thrusting upwards making Sungchan put weight onto his left arm to hold y/n still.
"Can you, mmm, more?" She begged.
Sungchan looked up at her with a sparkle in his eye.
"Of course, baby."
He added another finger, making a scissor motion to stretch her out. Y/n, moaning even louder than before. Sungchan sees one hand move down to grasp onto his forearm and he speeds up, pumping stronger into her hole as he leans in to lap at her clit. Strings of cum falling onto his chin.
Her grip tightens as she feels that coil come undone, legs folding in as Sungchan finger bangs her into her orgasm. Her breathing is ragged and throaty. Her breasts sliding lightly as her breathing slowly calms.
Y/n is flushed from her ears to her neck, hair splayed across the table, legs lazily spread as more of her cum drips out of her. And still nothing made Sungchan harder than her asking him to fuck her.
"You can take more?"
"I can take a lot more." She whines.
"Can we switch up positions?" He asked as y/n nodded.
Y/n turned to face away from Sungchan as she stretched her knees far, pussy dripping onto the table as Sungchan got a full view of her ass.
Stepping back, Sungchan began removing his pants and boxers.
"You're gonna be the death of me." He said, before walking into their shared bedroom to grab some condoms.
He grabbed a rolls of them in case she wants to go multiple rounds. Walking back, he gets a good look at how wet she is.
Unwrapping and rolling the condom on, Sungchan aligns with her core and grabs her hips to slowly rock her onto his cock. It took some time, her two orgasms and the angle making her feel incredibly tight. He continued pushing in, feeling her clench so tightly he wondered if it could fully fit inside.
Y/n let out a drawn out moan, stopping a little after he was fully inside her.
"I need you to move so badly, Sungchan."
He stayed still a little longer, he may have been ungodly horny and his dick may explode at any second but he's not gonna hurt his angel.
He gripped onto her hips a little tighter as he drew out and thrusted back in, hands pushed her into his thrusts to add power to each blow.
Y/n clenched and spasmed around him, feeling incredibly fucked out. This is exactly what she needed, Sungchan's strong hands wrapping around her, his huge dick plowing deep into her.
Steadying his rhythm and seeing y/n is pleasure, Sungchan starts picking up his pace.
"Feel good, baby?"
Opening her mouth to speak, y/n could only let out a high moan.
"S-so good."
Before long she felt her that tightness again, moaning nonsense as her hand moved from holding her up to grabbing Sungchan's hand to rub her clit.
Sungchan was barely able to contain himself, she felt so tight right now he felt himself come undone as she grabbed at his hand. Roughly thrusting in and out as he rubbed harsh circles into her clit.
Feeling her squeeze even tighter around him made him come undone, moaning so loudly. Hips thrusting even faster in and out of her even through the pain of overstimulation.
Pulling out, Sungchan fell back into the chair. He pulled off the condom with heavy breaths before tying it and tossing it somewhere behind him.
Y/n moving to sit upright onto the table, facing Sungchan. Her breathing was just as ragged, a pool of cum dripping from her onto the table.
"Would you like more?" Sungchan asked, a fucked out smile plastered on his face.
As he said it, y/n felt a wave of neediness overtake her. Her core continuing to throb and she adjusted on the table.
"Can I?"
Shit. He really wasn't expecting a fourth round right now.
"Even if it's just your mouth. I'm still so fucking horny." She pleaded.
Scooting closer, Sungchan grabbed onto her thighs to spread them farther. Y/n laid down as Sungchan leaned in to begin eating. There was a plethora of cum on her pussy, his fingers playing with her as he looked up to see her ragged breaths.
"Don't tease me." She whined.
Sungchan licked her up with a flat tongue to collect as much of her cum as he could.
Y/n continued moaning and grasping onto him. He moved up to lick and play with her clit before moving down to slurp at her opening, still stretched out from his dick.
With enough alternating she came again. A flood of sweet-salty cum filling Sungchan's mouth as he drew away from her core. He felt himself harden again.
"My dick is so hard right now." He said pulling y/n into his lap.
With the hottest fucked out expression Sungchan's ever seen on y/n, she replied with "I can go again."
Leaning in to kiss her, she could taste a mix of his saliva and her cum. Sungchan wrapped his arms around her to pick her up and sit back down onto the chair. Moaning, she feels for where he left the roll of condoms. Grabbing and tearing at one she opens the foil before sliding it on Sungchan's length.
Sungchan grabbed her ass to hold her up before sinking her down onto his dick. Both moaning into their kiss as Sungchan's hips unintentionally thrust into her heat.
"Yes! Yes!" She moans.
They both desperately thrust and bounce on each other, chasing their highs. Sungchan's grip keeps tightening the closer he gets to his orgasm as y/n keeps moaning and holding onto his biceps.
The feeling of Sungchan dragging along her walls becomes too much as she moans and gives a final squeeze around Sungchan. He gives a few lasts thrusts in her before he collapses into the chair beneath them.
Both feeling fully fucked out, they lay together, calming their breathing.
"I think I gotta tap out." Y/n says.
Sungchan rubs her back, his warm hands leaving goosebumps across her skin.
"We should go shower."
"Not right now, I need a breather before I try getting up again."
Sungchan nods.
"You did real good, you know." He compliments.
"I did?" Y/n laughed.
"Five rounds? Back to back? That's impressive."
Y/n laughed as they stayed there for a minute. Tucked into the side of his neck, leaving light kisses along Sungchan's skin.
Catching their breaths, Sungchan was able to lift her up and onto her lap as he disposed of the condom.
Testing her strength, y/n stood, careful to not fall over. They both walking over to their bathroom as Sungchan started a bath for the two.
He carefully laid y/n into the warm water and began washing her hair.
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luv-y0urself · 2 days ago
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18 headcanons for woon's 18th !
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day 1 : living with woon . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
established relationship!au | roommate!woon x fem!reader ♫.genre : slice of life, so much fluff... | wc : 789 | warnings : second person pov ! woon is implied to be a student ⏤ in college or high school is up to you to decide. as always, there is some mild bickering too :') 𖤐.first post of the series ! happy birthday once again, woon <3 make sure to let me know which one you guys like the most for the full fic on the seventh day ! more details on the masterlist linked below ↓
ᵔᴗᵔ﹕masterlist | the next day . . . [posted] !
living together-
there would never be a dull day if woonhak was living with you… literally. there’s always one thing or another happening around you guys, and you guys always make the most of it. 
like, there was one time when woonhak insisted that you teach him some of the yoga/pilates things you’ve been doing in your freetime, saying something like “it can’t be that hard…”
oh boy. poor guy was shaking just using a foam roller and doing a couple of exercises with it while you were nearly crying from laughter. 
“you won’t even be able to use a reformer!!”
“sh-shut up!! yes i can!!”
but even when you guys bicker with each other like that, woonhak is still someone that you can rely on for anything.
sometimes there are just days where you don’t want to do anything and just want to stay home, but he forces you to get up and do something, even if that’s going on a short little walk with him outside for some fresh air or just being next to his warmth while he’s doing homework for some of his classes, listening to his voice talking about random things to make you feel better.
he always has food prepared for you on those days – not processed, delivered food, but actual homemade food that he made, freshly prepared for you to eat.
“... thanks, woon.”
“you have to do the dishes.”
“are you kidding me???”
throwing tantrums-
cue the hundreds of videos of woon on the floor throwing a tantrum…
if something doesn’t go his way… this is definitely the type of move he would pull out of his pocket.
FOR EXAMPLE. if something goes wrong w the game he’s playing, he would lay on the floor and start doing this, causing you to run out of the kitchen, not even caring about the flour from your apron leaving a trail behind you as you stare at his flailing body.
of course. just when you're making your favorite cookies to eat during the weekend...
“... woon…?”
“oh my GOD i literally cannot beat this level this is absolutely horrible i’m so bad at this game–”
“woon– oh my god–” you run over and reach out to him to grab his hand holding the flailing controller, putting it down and grabbing both his wrists, successfully putting them above his head as you stare down at him. he finally stops and sighs, looking into your eyes.
“you know, sometimes i wonder if i’m babysitting a child or if i’m living with my boyfriend.”
woon scoffs, all thoughts about the game forgotten as he swiftly switches your positions so that he was on top of you now.
“well, obviously your boyfriend, right?” he gives you a mischievous smile before he starts tickling your sides, getting flour all over his clothing and face before you’re finally able to make him stop.
yes, throwing a tantrum means you have to go and calm him down… which also means this happens every single time too. you still haven’t quite figured out a way to get out of the situation, which wasn't good because woon was getting better day by day at finding your weak spots.
"woon – oh my god – let go of me! my cookies are going to burn!"
"not until you say that i'm the bestest boyfriend in the world."
"jesus christ–"
coparenting a pet-
now, although you insisted that you have enough on your hands with woon in the house, he always wanted to get a pet – a pet dog, specifically. you’ve always said no because that would be too much of a commitment for you guys. but… for his birthday, you finally decided to give in – all the while doing a small prank.
see, you packaged a couple of cute dog toys and gave it to him on the morning of his birthday. he opened them up, happy to see the plushies but a little confused. 
“aren’t these for… dogs…?”
you couldn’t help but smile. “check outside.”
his eyes light up immediately and he zooms out of the room, and you follow him with your phone recording, watching as he picks up the dog from the box that you bought him in and had left outside just a couple minutes ago, the small brown furball nearly disappearing in his arms.
his eyes look at yours with a look of wonder and joy, and he smiles so wide, making your heart warm just by looking at the two of them together. he puts down the dog softly on the floor and immediately pulls you into his embrace, his large hand covering the back of your head and burying himself into your scent by snuggling into the crevice of your shoulder.
“thank you so much, love.”
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© luv-y0urself / 2024 | taglist : @onedoornet @blankjournal
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doshi-sukiru · 3 days ago
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Hi!
I’m so interested in your Shattered Glass MegOP tfone AU! I wanted to ask since you mentioned that Optimus banished Megatron after their fight out of anger.
Then you also mentioned that Optimus thinks Megatron is a prisoner of war and is trying to get him back.
At what point did he go from “he betrayed me” to “oh my primus he’s clearly been kidnapped”? Especially since I assume Megatron and the High Guard willingly left for the surface the same as in the movie. Like did he immediately change his mind after Megatron left or like was there a brief moment where he had to think about it?
Sorry sksksk I’m just so invested hahaha
LMAO no worries you're good
So when Megatron first came back, Optimus believed it was D-16 in a new frame. He began to hug him and talk to him and act like how he used to, but Megatron could see how Optimus tore apart Sentinel behind him, and could see other mechs destroying Iacon and causing destruction. Megatron tried to pull away from Optimus and get him to realize that what he's doing is worse than good.
I mentioned before as well that D-16 was against killing Sentinel in cold blood, which annoyed Orion before, and seeing Megatron act like this still after coming back only angered Optimus.
Megatron tried to suggest that instead they should first find a way to bring back energon to the people, and let the high guard return to their positions to get more servos to help fight against the Quintessons, and because the high guard were good mechs.
Unfortunately, telling an angry Optimus that while having Starscream behind you, who Optimus tried to kill before, doesn't make the situation any better.
Optimus didn't think that Megatron was speaking his mind, or was trying to help Optimus, and immediately jumped into thinking that Starscream had taken his D-16 and persuaded him to go against Optimus. So, naturally, he lunged at Starscream in anger, but Megatron got in the way, and the two fought- with Optimus trying to throw Megatron to the side and hit Starscream, and Megatron trying to calm him down.
When they finally returned to the pit entrance, most of the high guard were there, and stood behind Megatron to protect him if Optimus tried to fight again. In that moment, Optimus's anger was so pent up he immediately yelled at Megatron and the high guard to be banished once again to the surface. He wasn't thinking about much else other than the fact that if Megatron wouldn't stand by his choices, he didn't deserve to be in Iacon either.
Megatron didn't go willingly at first, and tried to demand Optimus listen to him, but Soundwave stopped him, warning him that any more talk with Optimus would be useless with how angry the prime was, and when Megatron looked at Optimus he realized he was right. So he left with the high guard.
It took Optimus about a few hours before he cooled down and realized what he did, and felt crushed knowing he did something so terrible. But, Optimus has never accepted such faults before, and immediately began to try to divert the blame from him to someone or something else.
That's when he got that special idea- Starscream must have corrupted D-16's mind and had the the high guard force him to leave with them, because why would D-16 leave Optimus? The two were best buddies, almost conjunxes! It couldn't have been a choice he'd make willingly, because D-16 never acted out of line, he always did as told and followed Optimus no matter what!
So that was what spawned the idea that his beloved was a hostage, and not an equal with them.
thank you! again, any other ask you have you can give, I'll answer them as best as I can until friday!
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urfavleo777 · 2 days ago
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Riccardo Calafiori x reader inspired by lana del rey's lyrics
The hotel room was huge. Basically big enough to be an apartment, which made sense because it was the price of rent for an average apartment in Rome. You were lying next to your boyfriend on a double bed, he was leaning on his elbow, and staring at you with a smile. At that moment, it was just you and the sound of the fire burning in the fireplace next to you. It was perfect.
Riccardo decided to turn on some random playlist on your phone. It was a song by an Italian band, Måneskin, which you idolized and couldn't keep silent while listening to it. If not because of your tears, then because of your squawking while singing.
That's why you started trying your best at following the lyrics of the song, but in the end you only made the Italian smile wider.
“C’mon, say something, Ricky” you snapped, cupping his cheek with your hand.
“You are the one woman who means the most to me in this world. You are my everything, my love, my universe. Everything I do, I do it for you. So let me just look at you.”
You loved him. You’d love him ‘til the end of time.
It was wonderful to just cut yourself off from the world, lie on the bed with him, cover yourself with the duvet and live with the knowledge that someone felt what you felt, that someone was lying a few centimeters away from you and planning a future with you.
If there were words to describe this feeling, they would be the most beautiful words ever spoken. Because it wasn't pleasant, happy or beautiful. It was above and beyond everything.
He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman's head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself. Whether it was his charming smile, his captivating eyes, or his confident stance, people just couldn't help but be attracted to him. He carried himself with an alluring aura that made him a formidable presence in any room, causing both men and women to sit up and take notice.
“What did I do to deserve you?” you asked, unable to stop smiling.
“You know, I could be a better boyfriend. Spend more time with you, buy you gifts, take you on dates more often, treat you with even more respect.”
“I swear It's perfect the way it is. You don't have to-”
“Wait, let me finish,” he interrupted, raising his hand, and for a few seconds you saw something unusual on his face, uncertainty. “You really do mean everything to me, totally, absolutely everything. You blew my mind years ago, and nothing has changed since then, nothing to diminish my feelings for you. Well, I guess it's just time.”
He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and you watched his every move, confused. You didn't know what he was talking about until he pulled out a box with an engagement ring from under the covers.
“Mi vuoi sposare?” His hand reached out to touch your face, his touch gentle and reverent as he whispered the question that would change both of your lives forever. “Will you marry me? Will you make my life even more beautiful by becoming my wife?”
You were surprised, touched, and more than a little bit overwhelmed. You were sitting there in your joggers, devoid of any makeup, and yet here he was, looking at you with hope, waiting for your answer.
“You should kneel, idiot.” You just said, to which he sighed dramatically and got off the bed, doing exactly what you said.
And still fixing his eyes in love on you. You froze for a moment, it— he was beautiful.
You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts, before finally speaking up. “Yes,” you said, a smile slowly spreading across your face. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Be my once in a lifetime”
Rolling his eyes, he returned to the bed, never taking his lips from yours. He positioned himself above you on the bed, his body pressing against yours as he continued to devour your lips with a fierce intensity. 
You couldn’t believe what just happened.
When you calmed down and your emotions subsided, you only realized what was on your finger and why Riccardo was so happy.
“You didn't expect that, did you?” A sly smile played at the corners of his lips as he looked down at you, his body still pressed against yours. He was clearly proud of himself, reveling in the fact that he had managed to surprise you once again.
“No, I didn't,” you admitted with a small laugh, still reeling from the intensity of his kiss.
“I was going to do it tomorrow over a big dinner with candles, but I don't know. I guess I felt that this moment was less hackneyed, more real, more ours.”
“You really are full of surprises.” you dragged out the last letters, while he pulled your phone out from under him and switched the song. Unlike you, he hated rock music, and you listened to a few rock songs regularly. He chose “Without You” by Lana and placed the phone on the night stand.
He chuckled softly, his eyes glittering with mischief. “Of course I am,” he teased. “And I have plenty more surprises up my sleeve just you wait and see, amore.” He leaned in closer, his lips hovering just above yours, a tantalizing distance away. “But for now, I think I'd like to show you just how much I want you right now.”
His hands began to wander over your body, his touch gentle yet possessive, the heat between you growing with every moment. He kissed you again, his mouth moving over yours with a primal hunger, as if he couldn't get enough of you. “All my dreams and all the lights mean,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire. “Nothing without you.”
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nightlark100 · 2 days ago
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Consequences (Pt 8)
Thank you for everyone who voted on what the next part should be :)
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After they got Grace situated at the Lauter house, which Steph fortunately still had access to after a lot of hours spent with her father's lawyer Gary, Peter headed back to his apartment. Ted and Charlotte's on again off again relationship was currently going through an on again phase so he knew his brother likely wouldn't be there. In fact, he probably wouldn't be around much until Charlotte decided once again to try and focus on working things out with her husband and the whole cycle started again. Still, it meant that, as long as Peter sent texts to check in, he would be left to his own devices. In the past he would have stayed with Richie, and more recently with Steph (she wasn't handling the empty house too well. Even if her father and her hadn't been close, she was still used to his presence), but he needed some time to try and sort his head out. He felt bad for leaving Steph alone with an emotionally distraught Grace but with everything that had happened, he was at his limit.
So he went home.
He ate a chocolate bar and then took a shower, mentally sorting through his DVDs to pick one he could happily doze off to. He knew that the Lords in Black would want an answer from him at some point but he was pretty sure they couldn't just appear without being summoned. Well... hoped.
Unfortunately, the same rules didn't apply to Wiley, as he found out when he left the bathroom. The man was perched on the foot of his bed, the picture of ease.
"Gah!" Peter tried to cover his chest while also holding onto the towel around his waist. "What are you doing here?"
"Thought I'd pop in and say hello."
"Hello. Goodbye."
"Now there's no need to be rude Petey."
"Don't call me that." Wiley only chuckled in response, his green eyes fixed on Peter as the boy gathered his clothes and headed back towards the bathroom. Peter paused in the doorway. “You'll stay in here until I'm done?”
“Don't you trust me to behave myself?”
“Would you trust you?” Wiley laughed and inclined his head in agreement. Peter slipped back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Even though he was fairly certain it wouldn't inhibit his uninvited guest in anyway, it made him feel a little bit safer at least.
Once he was dressed in sweatpants and one of Ted's old tees, he reluctantly returned to his bedroom. Wiley was in the exact spot he'd been left in and as Peter tentatively approached, the man stretched, eyes slitted. There was something strangely feline about his movements, and Peter was reminded of a trip to the zoo he'd once gone on. The jungle cats, the graceful strength that they exuded in every languid movement. And just like a jungle cat, Peter was positive Wiley could tear him apart if he wanted to.
“Feeling a little less… vulnerable?” He asked, raking his gaze over Peter and patting the spot beside him on the bed.
“Can't say I do…” Peter muttered, taking the offered seat. “Is this about that… offer?”
“Smart boy”
“I'm still not entirely sure about… well, everything. I'm not making a decision if I don't know the details of what I'm agreeing to.”
“Ask your questions. Let's see if I can assuage some of your doubts.”
"Why us? Why drag Steph and me into this?”
“Partly punishment. They don't take kindly to people trying to cheat them. And while that was mainly Grace's fault, you two are still a bit of a sore spot.”
“But why can't Grace be the prophet?”
“Well for one thing, I think people are more likely to listen to Miss Lauter than they are Miss Chasity. Just better marketing. And for another…” he smirked to himself. “I'm not sure how long little Gracie will be around for once the baby is born.”
“What…why?”
“That child has a little bit of all of them in it. Including the great devourer. Nibblenephim. Do the math.” He snapped his teeth in a mock bite. Peter felt bile rise in his throat and had to take a few minutes to push back the desire to vomit. “Now that little tidbit? That stays between us. No point in scaring the little lady.”
Peter wanted to protest but he could tell by the look in Wiley's eyes it wouldn't do any good.
“What's the difference between what they want Steph to do and what they want me to do?”
“They want Stephanie to be their prophet. They want you to be their disciple. A prophet is the mouth. A disciple is more like the hands. Or at least that's the way it is on the surface. The true difference is want. Deep down all the prophets want one thing, a thing that they crave but can never quite grasp. For some it's love. For others it's adoration. For your little Steph-A-nie it's belonging. Family. Prophets are all about temptation and desire, it draws them in and sinks hooks deep into their soul. A disciple, well that's something very special. A disciple can want, yes, but it's all secondary. They get to witness the raw power of the lords… they bask in their majesty… and crave its presence.” His voice had grown hushed as he spoke and a hand snaked up Peter's arm, brushing over his shoulder and coming to rest on the curve of his neck. “Every beat of their heart is granted to them by the lords. Every second they are not reduced to atoms is a delight and a mercy. A disciple is beyond life and death, beyond earthly desires. They are merely an extension of something greater. Stripped down to the raw clay and remade by the hands of Gods.” His hand grasped the back of Peter's neck, drawing the boy closer so their foreheads rested against one another. “You will see. You'll have everything you could desire and you'll want none of it.”
“You're insane.” Peter whispered.
The effect was immediate. The hand, once firm but gentle on the back of his neck, grasped at his flesh painfully and he was tugged backwards. With a shove, Peter found himself lying on his back on the floor with Wiley standing over him. Before he had a chance to scramble back to his feet Wiley had knelt down, resting one knee on Peter's chest.
“You really don't wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna fuck with me Petey.” He pressed down, his knee digging in and cutting off the boy's oxygen. “I was a colonel in another life”
Peter pushed weakly at the man's leg but the movement only prompted him to catch both wrists in one hand and hold them still.
“You should be grateful for this opportunity. Without it, you'd spend the rest of eternity in the bastard box enduring your worst nightmares, fears and memories over and over again. You'd go mad before the first cycle was over. Instead you could be part of something so much bigger than yourself…” Wiley moved so he was straddling Peter instead of kneeling on him. Peter sucked in a grateful desperate breath as Wiley fisted his free hand in the boy's hair, pulling up so that Peter was forced to awkwardly arch his back. “All you gotta do is open yourself up to their love…”
“Get off me!”
To his surprise, Wiley did as he asked but instead of fully releasing him, Peter found himself trapped with his back against the man's denim clad chest. One hand still grasped his hair, positioning his head on Wiley's shoulder, while the other arm was wrapped tight around his waist to keep him still.
“Do you see him?” Wiley's voice was soft and husky, his breath warm against Peter's ear.
“Do you see him?”
The room seemed to throb around him, fading into a pulsating blackness that grew with each beat of his heart.
“Do you see him?”
Peter felt like he was drifting in a cold empty seat and despite his fear of the other man, he found himself clinging to the arm at his waist. It was the only thing that felt real, that existed in the strange emptiness that was seeping in.
“Do you see him?”
In the darkness two brilliant spotlights appeared and Peter found himself under the gaze of something monstrous and ancient.
He saw.
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Me: Wiley, behave yourself
Wiley: proceeds to punt Pete across the room and climb all over him
Consequences (pt1)
In which the Lords in Black aren't fully satisfied with Grace's sacrifice (or, the pitfalls of an abstinence only sex education)
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She hadn't wanted to kill them, Grace thought numbly as she stared down at her dirt streaked hands, unable to shake the image of her latest victims from her mind. Yes, she believed that the behaviour she'd witnessed from the young couple, drunk and making out in the park, was dirty and perverse but she didn't want to kill them. And yet when she had gotten near, it was as though she was seized by a terrible hunger and she just couldn't stop herself.
She slipped to the ground, resting her head against the side of her bed and felt tears burning her eyes. It had been a few months since everything with Max... since she had given in to the primal temptations and sacrificed her chastity to send him to hell. She should feel... something. Relief? But her insides felt like they were rotting. She'd done so many terrible things and she didn't even have her unwavering faith to fall back on anymore, not after what she'd seen in the school gym. She didn't know if the colourful figures had been demons or if they truly were gods but it felt like jagged claws had slashed apart the fabric of her soul, leaving jagged doubts behind. Doubts and hunger.
At first she'd been able to ignore it but it had gotten stronger. It would rise in waves, crescendoing down onto her when they peaked and leaving her scrabbling for purchase as her mind crumbled.
Even the brief moments of peace she usually got between the waves had been lost to her now as she found herself battling daily with nausea, sometimes barely making it from her bed to the bathroom in time. She had tried to hide it as best she could but she knew her parents were concerned, had heard them whispering while she lingered in doorways. If it continued much longer they'd want to take her to the doctor, but she knew medicine couldn't help her. Her soul was sick, that was the cause. She would just have to pray harder. Maybe she could ask Stephie and Petey for help? Surely her friends would agree to pray with her when they saw how bad things had gotten.
Struggling to her feet, feeling her stomach twist painfully as she did so, she retrieved her phone from her bedside and sent Steph a text asking to meet up.
Her friends would help. They had to.
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welcometogrouchland · 1 year ago
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I just think Hunter was obsessed with Willow and didn't even know it during the period from any sport in a storm to labyrinth runners. They maybe don't talk as often as they could, they're both busy and have conflicting schedules, so when they do talk, Hunter absorbs everything she says.
After roughly 3 weeks of texting (hexting? I feel like the kids would call it hexting), He knows that her favorite colour is orange, she likes her tea with extra milk and a bit of honey during winter, she likes working out to the noisiest angriest music in her playlist, her dad Gilbert is a construction witch who specialises in pottery, she used to listen to breakup songs and think about her childhood best friend (Hunter doesn't know it's Amity) and she actually has a mild pollen allergy despite being a plant witch and has to take potions for it.
He casually drops all this info piece by piece during their stay in the human realm and willows like. Well I can't not marry him. It'll have to be a winter or fall wedding to account for her allergies </3
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seventh-district · 3 days ago
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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pumpkinrootbeer · 11 months ago
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ogfoofodoxx thinking about how the most defining character trait of haymitch is how protective he is. not in the sense it's the most obvious, but how all of his actions are fueled by this desire to protect. how hard he works at keeping katniss alive in the first games, him fighting to keep them from augmenting katniss's body, him yelling at plutarch to keep finnick from having to share his trauma, him being so involved in peeta's recovery and being the one to bring katniss home. him holding mayslee's hand as she died, fighting for plutarch to stay and rescue peeta, being the one to find katniss and finnick when johanna had an episode, begging coin to believe peeta's warning. it being heavily implied or either outright stated that he was one of the people who fought to protect effie.
makes me physically ill because no one does that for him. everyone who would of, died.
#DIES EXPLODES COMBUSTS#thg#haymitch abernathy#:v#haymitch acting like he doesn't care about anyone when he actually cares about everyone#he's acting like he's winning the idgaf war but love has disarmed him completely.#Tbc katniss and peeta would but they are literally incapable of being that for him. bc they are infant#also thinking about how we get this sense that while he has some modicum of power with the revolution his sway only goes so far#which is to say not far at all#the times we actually see what the negotiating process is like for him he has to beg coin to listen to him#and he says Plutarch didn't listen to him between cf and mockingjay when he tried to get them to stay for peeta#I just get this sense that most of the time he's in the room but isn't really allowed to make decisions#and constantly has to fight to be heard#I mean again I will always circle back to this they literally locked him in a room to detox#and the descriptions we get in cf is his withdrawal symptoms are incredibly severe#so clearly they weren't dependent on his imput#idk idk I just get this sense they valued his input up until the point he reminded them all he still views people as people.#him coaching katniss was to say in mockingjay during her speech in two also makes me chew drywall#how much of that is what he thought she needed to say to stay alive and how much is what he had always wanted to say#also thinking about how he wasn't lying when he told Plutarch he couldn't go back to twelve sober.#bc he gets katniss home and then immediately gets blackout drunk#I am of the opinion that he genuinely can't get sober while living in 12#I like to think he lets himself leave eventually never to the capitol of course but in my hc he goes to 11#just bc of his fondness for chaff and seeder but that's just a self indulgent headcanon#ALSO ALSO.#thinking about how he's fighting a revolution that he doesn't even believe will bring chance#well. he thinks it'll change things but that change will be temporary and fighting will break out again#my perfect pessimist idiot. in my heart of hearts he gets a therapist moves and actually recovers
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missautumn · 6 hours ago
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"The naughtiest." Emery winked at him. Truth was, it had been mostly an act, she had been deemed as the spoiled daughter of the hotel tycoon who had no place in the family company so she played the part, sure she had fun in the process but all the while she'd also been planning how to get back on that race. Meanwhile she had enjoyed the perks of being on the sidelines and blew up her father's money like it was simple change.
"There's no need to have makeovers all over, honey." Emery chuckled,  pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I appreciate it but I like your place like it is and I'll be busy as soon as we start with our place and I'd prefer to focus on that solely." The only place she had considered home had been the hose in Korea were she lived with her mother until she was 10, after her passing Emery and her father moved to London and then the States but neither of those houses felt like home anymore. Once she became economically independent and bought her penthouse, she felt that sense of home again but there was something amiss and it took her some more years until she met Nathaniel to know he was was her home was missing. "I guess we could check out some options in the market but I'm superstitious about places that were inhabited previously." She scrunched her nose.
Emery smiled at the thoughtful question and pressed her hand to his cheek. "Delmore-Kim has a sound of power, doesn't it?" She teased, narrowing her eyes as she looked into the nothingness as if listening to the joint names. "Only if you want to, love. It's not a deal-breaker so I'll leave that up to you." Having grown up in a circle where the last-name one carried meant being in or out, Emery wasn't going to make him shift it knowing the weight his last-name in its own carried. "That's not at the top of my thoughts right now." She dismissed the topic with a sly smile which accentuated when her husband closed the gap between them. "Do I? I think you should show me so I really, really understand how much you missed me." The woman murmured as her hand moved to the waistband of his trousers and she went in for a kiss.
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"Oh? You were skipping classes? So, you're telling me my wife was a naughty girl?" Nate laughed softly, reaching out and squeezing her hip. When he stopped laughing it was to listen to Emery's desires and reassurance. She'd always known just how to support him through his anxiety. "Well, we can stay at my place there until we have our place built since you want something that's ours. You can have my whole place redecorated for all I care. I'm just glad we're actually doing this." Nathaniel had spared the word 'finally' from leaving his mouth but that was how he felt- like this was a long time coming. Relief washed over him now that she wasn't asking for a divorce and that they were sorting out the details of their new future in public.
"Would you like for me to hyphenate mine too?" At the end of the day, he knew their children would be inheriting two dynasties. He didn't want to pressure her or them into something they potentially wanted no part in. However, the Delmore company needed to continue and Samantha wouldn't be the one to do it. The more children they had the more likely the Delmore brand could continue without a hitch and that he could enjoy his wife often. That thought had him grinning at Emery, "Yeah, that's definitely the fun part, Em." Nate shook his head, pulling her closer, "Well now the only thing on my mind is the whole baby making thing. You're the one that had to green light it and you already know how much I missed you."
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novadreii · 3 months ago
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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candlebel · 9 months ago
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#vent#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#stuff
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dualnaturedscientist · 2 days ago
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Tristan seemed to be surprised by this. He knew that Carl had a stepbrother named Thomas. He also knew all about Thomas and the way he reacted when he became Dr.Two-Brains. That man was honestly so on very thin ice for making his spouse feel like he did. "You're his older brother? We had no idea he had any other siblings." Bailey began to fidget with his hands. "I... am aware of that. Yes. I hadn't realized that I had a younger brother until recently myself. Carl was standing a few feet away from the door, listening in. He was just as confused by this. If he was going to be completely honest. He was only told of his one sibling Thomas. And that was his stepbrother. "I see. Do you want to speak with him? Perhaps another time..." Carl felt like they shouldn't turn him away. "I will be able to talk with him. You and Gene can plan out what you need to do. It's alright. I'll speak with him outside while giving you two privacy." Gene was also feeling protective over his father. Yet from where he stood, Bailey didn't pose much of a threat. If anything, it seemed Carl would easily be able to handle himself against him. "Very well. Please call us if you have any trouble." Tristan moved out of the way, allowing Carl to walk through the door. Leaving the former mad scientist and Tristan to their conversation. "You say that you're my older brother. How do I know that you're telling the truth." Bailey frowned. It wasn't disappointment from Carl not believing him but courage leaving him. "I know it sounds strange, I truly do. But I know you are my younger brother. We share very similar facial features. When I saw you, I just knew that we were family. I had come looking for you in hopes of us meeting. You see, I never got to truly meet my birth family. I was given hope of meeting one of them when I saw you on the news." Carl might have not been a lie detector, but he knew that this man wasn't lying to him at all. It seemed he didn't dare to try. "Very well. We can speak. I can see what you are referring to. We do have very similar facial features. Genetic features." At the library, Matthew's thoughts were racing. He wanted to chase after that blasted woman, but if Matthew were to do that, Miss Dewey wouldn't be very happy with that. She would have to report his sudden leaving to Margaret Fuller, and he didn't want to deal with her during such a time. He had to let Evangeline free. Unaware that he wasn't the only one wondering about her whereabouts. "Who was that?" Frank seemed concerned. "It's... very complicated. I can't go after her because of my probation, unfortunately. I had known her for a long time." This answer seemed to have appeased him. "Oh, I hope she will be fine. Hey, on the bright side. I happened to pick you up some snacks as well. Since you seemed occupied. And since we're going to be working buddies." Matthew gave him an appreciative smile. "Oh, thank you.” Though at the back of his mind. He couldn't shake the expression of confusion on Evangeline's face. Why was she so disoriented? Why was she young, alive? After work, Matthew was going to tell Carl about this. Perhaps not Gene though. He wasn't going to pile his problems into his son's own. He already did so unfortunately. Back at the house. “My love. I can't sit back anymore. Please. I have another solution, to ease your mind. Why don't I wear a tracking device of your own creation? This will ease your mind. Knowing where I am if I were to disappear. Don't you have anything of the sort already set to be used?” Gene's eyes widened at that. Why didn't he think of it? “Tristan, you're brilliant!” Finally they were on the same page. “If I'm taken, you'll be able to find me and send help. If I'm not taken by this being, we'll be able to track down my brother and our spouse. Either way we'll be able to get them back. I promise, my love.” Gene was quiet for a moment before embracing the other. “If things go wrong, I hope you know you'll be sleeping on the couch. Fine then. I want them back just as much as you do.” Tristan gave him a reassuring squeeze. “As you wish.”
@ninjastormhawkkat
"Hold on a minute, some weird guy is staring at me. Probably some bum trying to get change off of me." Comments like that had ensured he would absolutely be relieved of guilt for what was to happen next. A smile spreads across the figure's facial features, revealing inhumanly sharp teeth glinting in the street lights. A hand quickly shot out, taking a hold of the rather obnoxious man. "What the hell are you doing-" A scream soon pierced the quietness of the night. It quickly became a horrendous gurgling noise. The cellphone in the man's hand had fallen in the process. Leaving the person on the other end to become worried and confused about what was happening to the man. It didn't take very long for the man to become completely still. The figure allows him to finally fall to the cement below, licking at his blood stained lips in satisfaction. "The night, it is still so young. I don't think I shall waste another minute on you." Like a ghost in the night, he had vanished. As if he were never there. Leaving only the grotesque mess he had made for others to find. Unknown to him, there was a witness to this who had seen the whole thing. Watching in complete and utter fear. The figure grinned, it was as if he were seeing the world through different eyes. The opportunities that awaited him. It sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. His thirst might have satiated but he wasn't satisfied with only that. Oh no. There was so much more he had in mind for this city. Just wait till morning until they discover his little surprise for all to see. It wasn't until hours later did he finally return to the house. Feeling pleased with himself. Carl shot up in bed, heart racing so fast within his chest. Calming down once realizing he was in bed with Matthew. It took the retired scientist to recognize his surroundings. "That's right.. we're at Gene's place." The dream he had woken up from was already fading from his memory. It was rather absurd, recalling what he could. He could've sworn the dream was incredibly vivid and felt so real. But the little bits of the dream that he did remember became fuzzy and distant in his mind. Carl wasn't as quiet as he thought. Matthew had woken up. "Love, are you okay?" His voice had brought Carl from his thoughts. "Matthew, dearest. I hadn't meant to wake you up." He frowned, feeling guilty as he wanted his husband to get as much rest as needed. "It's alright, I needed to get up early anyway. Don't feel bad, my darling. I'm worried about you, though.” He gave Matthew a smile. “It was just a dream. I was just startled from a dream. I don't even remember what happened in it anymore. I'll be fine.” Matthew pulled the other into his arms, holding him in such a comforting manner. Placing a loving kiss to Carl's forehead. “Even so, I've still got you.” The former scientist blushed. Matthew still had such an effect on him even after all this time. “Thank you, my love.” They had stayed like that for a good while. It wasn't until Carl noticed the time that he forced Matthew to get out of bed and to get ready for his community service. Though there was something that had been bothering Carl since waking up. He had not remembered going back to bed after his conversation with Gene last night. No matter how much he tried to, it just kept coming up blank to him. Carl sighed, he must've been that tired that he didn't remember. He was getting up there in age. “I could stay back. Margaret won't be very happy about it but I don't want to leave you if you're not okay.” Carl smiled once more. “I'm not going to be responsible for what she'd do if you tried. You're also expecting a new face there, aren't you?” Matthew looked surprised at that. He had completely forgotten about that. And Carl did make a point. Wincing at the thought of what Margaret might do if he actually did skip out on it. Though for Carl, it would've been absolutely worth it. Whatever punishment she'd dole out, he'd endure for his dearest husband. “Go get dressed now.” Matthew chuckled at that before doing as he said. Leaving Carl to this thoughts.
Carl still felt unsettled by the dream, it was like he was walking through a mist. Yet at the same time it was like someone or something was controlling his body and actions. The dream was scary, but also ludicrous. At one point Carl thought he saw someone who looked like his old narcissus ex boyfriend who he never thought about again until now. Carl just let out a sigh and shook his head. 'It was just a nightmare.' Carl reassured himself. He remembered how reading how the mind and senses can trick the body into thinking something is real when it isn't. His strange dream was just one of those cases. Carl decided to get out of bed and go downstairs. He was going to try and help his son and other son-in-law deal with this strange and frightening case of kidnapping. Carl pushed away the issue of the nightmare and headed downstairs, ignoring the feeling of dread in the back of his mind. Carl also did not pay attention to that fact that his mouth was no longer dry and that there was no glass cup on the nightstand when he got up that morning. Atomic Steele surveyed the area with caution and an intense gaze. He was going over the area looking for something out of the ordinary. Something that had bothered his friend and teammate Electric Blur. Something in this seemingly abandoned area affected Blur's powers. "I wasn't sure what just happened. It felt like I was suddenly communicating emotionally with a strange energy wave that was being transmitted from there. I felt uneasy and scared...but also sad for some reason." That is what Blur told Atomic when she came back to their hideout looking shaken and worried. She told him she never felt anything like that before, not even from the fallen B.E.A.W labs. Atomic Steele offered to check it out for her as the young heroine wasn't keen on returning to the spot. While Electric Blur was being comforted by her other teammates, Atomic followed the directions the heroine had given him to the location where she felt the strange and unsettling energy. What Atomic Steele found when he got there was a large but abandoned warehouse surrounded by an empty field. The area was surrounded by a rusted, wired fence. The place looked like it hadn't been used for years. Still, the normally brave yet brash young hero couldn't help but feel a child go up his spine. His gut and instincts telling him there is something dangerous here, something evil. Atomic Steele walked up to the doors of the warehouse. He grabbed at a rusted handle and tried opening it. To the hero's surprise and growing caution, the door easily unlocked. Atomic Steele took a deep breath and steadied his nerves. He then proceeded inside the warehouse in a slow pace, ready to discover what laid inside. "Oh hello there Matthew. Cutting it a bit close are we." Miss Dewey lightly teased the former villain as he just came into the library to start his community service. "Sorry about that Miss Dewey. I had some problems this morning but I'm here now." Matthew replied, feeling a bit embarrassed about cutting things close. He really didn't want to leave Carl and Gene alone during the family crisis that was happening but at the same time he really didn't want to test the limits of his second chance at freedom from prison. Miss Dewey gave the man a look of sympathy and concern. "You know, if there is a serious problem going on at home, I wouldn't mind helping you fill out some forms to request a temporary leave from your community service." The librarian offered. Matthew smiled in appreciation at her kind gesture. "Thank you Miss Dewey but I'll be alright." Matthew responded. "So has the new service worker arrived yet?", the former villain asked. Miss Dewey smiled and nodded. "Yes he is here. Matthew, allow me to introduce you to Frank Leigh." Matthew glanced over to the man Miss Dewey introduced. He looked to be a few years older than Victor but still younger than Matthew and Carl. He had dark hair and light, blueish gray eyes. The man gave a friendly wave to Matthew. "Hi nice to meet you." Frank spoke in a kind tone. @dualnaturedscientist
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